We have all been there – well most of us anyway – when it all comes to an end and we wake up to find that we are alone and have that void without a man feeling. It is as if without a man we are incomplete, have no direction, no focus, no life. I do not imply that dependence on a man, being in a relationship is negative in any way.
In fact John Donne wrote “No man is an island, entire of itself”. And likewise for a woman. Much joy and bliss comes from a man and a woman sharing their lives together- this is beautiful indeed.
However, we have come from a social and even cultural conditioning that says “I am not complete until I have a man in my life”. When I experienced marital separation and divorce after an 18 year marriage, I stumbled upon a compelling and practical book about why women feel incomplete without a man by Penelope Russianoff Ph.D titled “Why Do I Think I Am Nothing Without A Man?”
We have come from a conditioning that Dr Russianoff describes as ‘desperately dependent'. She writes: “this is where a woman for whom the major focus in her life is a man, or the lack of one, a woman who feels adrift or on the prowl, or one who feels that the world views her as abnormal without a male consort, one who feels listless and purposelesss when “her” man is out of town, at work or anyway, not right there with here. There are degress of desperate dependence, but the consequences are always the same.”
And so the desperately dependent woman revolves her life around a person outside of herself, a man- someone who is “hers”. And when this ends it is as if her own life has ended because she feels that everything she has been living for, breathing for, is now gone.
Empowerment for women is about emancipating herself from “desperately needing a man” to feel complete.
Empowerment for women is learning to love and accept yourself and finding worthiness and a sense of purpose in your own life – whether or not you have some one in it.
Empowerment for women is realizing that you can create and attract into your life all the joy, love, fulfillment, purpose, happiness, health and direction you want – whether or not you have some one in it.
Empowerment for women is seeing your own inner beauty, the inner strength that lies deep within you that will propel you forward beyond any disappointment, any sorrow or loss.