Marriage is never perfect nor is it always imperfect. Perception plays a big part in marriage happiness or marriage unhappiness. So what makes some marriages last for 50 years and some less than 6 months? Is it the wrong 2 people getting married for the wrong reason? Maybe it’s less about the people and more about perceptions and expectations. Maybe, just maybe, it has to do with sacrifices or lack thereof.
OK, we can agree on this I’m sure. No marriage is perfect. You may be looking at a couple who just seem perfect together. They have the right looks, great jobs, a gorgeous home and the cutest little children. Guess what? Even the couples who look perfect have to make sacrifices, just to live happily ever after.
Here’s the deal. You have to be willing to live together and give up something you want. Let’s dig a little deeper.
OK, you may want to have a 5 bedroom house in the right school district and drive the upscale cars like everyone else in the neighborhood. So what are you willing to give up, to get those things? Are you willing to have less family time and time with your spouse as one or both of you may have to work more hours to maintain the lifestyle?
I can’t understand why spouse complain about not having enough time together when the very lifestyle they seek demands less quality time together.
Then there are the other sacrifices you have to make if you really want to live happily ever after. Here are a few of them you need to consider, for the sake of keeping your marriage together;
- Don’t make hanging out with friends more important than being with your family
- Avoid making working late a habit that you can’t break
- Be willing to forgive, sacrificing your need to always be right
- Sacrifice buying what you want and sometimes buy what you need
- Consider the needs of your spouse over your needs, sometimes
- Think about giving up some of the material things for better relational things
To sacrifice is not easy but it’s necessary, if you want to keep your relationship healthy. A key to sacrificing though is that both of you must be willing to sacrifice. This will not work if only one of you is willing to do so.
Clearly if your spouse wants to hang out with co-workers every Friday night while you are at home, alone or with the kids, that’s not healthy. Of course spouses need their space. I get that. However, no one needs to try to hang on to their old life style when they were single. If a person tries to be married & single they will end of single. A marriage has to have boundaries. Without them, the marriage will crash and burn, pretty quickly.
If you are frustrated or unhappy in your marriage, it’s probably because sacrifices are not being made. Find out what those are and focus on making small but meaningful changes to bring you and your spouse closer together. Do you need more time and less-things or less time and more things? Whatever the It is, figure it out now and you will be able to live together, happily ever after.