Sunday, May 9, 2021

Things That Happen In Every Friday The 13th Movie

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In the Friday the 13th franchise, no one is coming to help you. Or, if they are, they’re going to immediately screw it up.

The biggest problem with the Crystal Lake police is that they can’t accept that they have a supernatural killer on their hands. The most prominent role any cop plays is in Jason Lives, where Sheriff Mike Garris (David Kagen) threatens a grown-up Tommy Jarvis (Thomas “Thom” Mathews), shoves him in a cell, and tries to escort him out of town — all to keep him from talking about Jason Voorhees and stirring the legend up again. Notably, the one time a cop is quick to name Jason as the killer, in A New Beginning, he’s actually wrong.

No other authority figures consistently come out looking great, either. The principal in Jason Takes Manhattan (Peter Mark Richman) is snide, spiteful, unhelpful, and — as a flashback reveals — abusive, having once almost drowned his niece in a heartless attempt to “teach” her to swim. And the journalist in Jason Goes to Hell (Steven Culp) is sleazy, opportunistic, and criminal.

At least the FBI’s sting operation briefly seems to work, taking Jason down in a hail of gunfire … until it turns out this just makes his evil spirit hop around from person to person. Apparently, defeating Jason Voorhees is a task best left to the amateurs.

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