We don’t like to feel lonely, which is a different thing from being alone. People can be alone yet remain connected to others through the Internet. Introverts people tend to enjoy their time alone indoor when socialization becomes hard. And these people who’ve been in a relationship are also preferring to be alone right now.
Recently, a relationship-related question on Reddit took off with 13.1k answers. The question was: “What is a reason you are glad to be single?” They share how being in a relationship is not always fluffy, romantic, and beautiful. It can be ugly compared to when you’re alone and free.
“As someone who got out of a 3-year long relationship about 4 months ago I would say one of the biggest things I’m glad about being single is being able to see myself clearly again, you don’t realize how much being in a relationship can blind you to how you’ve changed, or how love can numb you to certain things when I got out of that relationship and once the entire crying and being depressed phase ended I slowly realized how much happier I was and how much I’ve changed, some of it good and some bad, but it was like being able to see myself through a clear lens and not through a distorted one.” – mercury111111111
“Honestly, being single allowed me to put more focus on finishing my undergrad degree, which I just did this last week!” – njf175
“I can do whatever I want, whenever I want without checking in with anyone. Also, no woman should have to be subjected to my toxic family.” – yeetgodmcnechass
“I have so many hobbies. When I was in a relationship I couldn’t do any of them. Hell, I even had a hard time making time for school work. Now that I’m out of a relationship and COVID has limited social gatherings, I’ve been playing music, painting, coding, etc. Literally today I finished designing and making the wooden case for some headphones I’m making.” – artisnotdefined
“I have been single most of my adult life and I find it really annoying when I am living with a partner. I had a partner who snored and that really affected me with the lack of sleep I was getting and you get set in your ways then all of a sudden you have someone wanting you to do a whole bunch of things another way. I don’t necessarily prefer to be single but I prefer to live on my own.” – 11015h4d0wR34lm
“I can eat a peanut butter & jelly or popcorn for dinner if that’s what I want.” – momination
There is a huge mistake that the public makes when they think being single is bad. Some even naturally assume that those who are single are actively looking for someone to be their partner. So common is this perception that a 2008 study had the majority of people convinced that singletons are unhappy!
“Learned to love myself without needing anyone else’s words of affirmation after being single for the first time in a few years.” – FinalTourist
“All of them. I am single for the last 10 years +-. All my money is mine. All my time is mine. All my attention goes where I want it to go (minus distractions, hi, Reddit). In my view the planet is over-populated, so there is no serious thought of reproduction. I just try to get fulfillment in life.” – Nope_Nope_Nope_0
“Wanna watch a movie? I pick what I want and don’t have to debate what we’re both in the mood for, or whose turn it is to pick, or ‘I don’t like scary movies, let’s watch a rom-com!’ Wanna get something to eat? I go get what sounds good to me and don’t have to hem and haw for an hour over what sounds good to you but not me, then me but not you, and then finally settle on something that neither of us really wants but we can both deal with when all I want in this world is sushi. Wanna sleep till noon on my day off then get up and just play video games all afternoon? My choice and mine alone and nobody can try to shame me for it, or complain that I’m not paying attention to them.
Having an off day and don’t feel like talking at all or expressing my feelings? I don’t have to talk to anyone or feel pressured to “open up” to them because we’re dating. I can just take a “me day” and never open my mouth, never get out of bed, or whatever I feel I need to do to feel better. Got off work at an indecent hour? Don’t have to sneak into bed and then have an awkward conversation that I’m too tired to have when I wake them up and they ask what time it is, and why I’m so late, and what kept me, and how was my day when the only thing I want to do is close my eyes and rest.” – DomLite
“Christmas is coming and I have no stress and it’s not expensive.” – YourWifeNdKids
“God, I remember rushing home every day because if I was even 5 minutes late getting in the door, I would have to explain myself. Then I would walk in perfectly on time and he’d still be in a horrible mood. Now I can spend the whole day driving around doing absolutely nothing and I don’t have to explain it to anybody and going home is actually an enjoyable thought.” – Seducedbyfish
“I don’t like spending time with people. I have 1 friend I see once every 2 weeks and that’s enough socializing for me.” – MajesticPopcorn
Susan Winter spoke to TIME, “Believe it or not, relationships are ‘mentally’ expensive. Intimacy and partnership takes up a lot of space in our heads.”
To be in love and maintaining that love is a taxing job that can steal your attention. Not to mention that the first few years of living together are especially so as both of you learn to get to know each other. But when you’re single, you have all the time in the world to declutter your mind and regain back that focus.
“Oh man, that fear of coming home just for the sake of not knowing your SO’s mood and being extra cautious not to trigger anything in any way. Then struggling to find out if it’s a good day and I am expected to say greet with a kiss or a bad day and not interrupt them at all, such a shitty feeling. I am just learning to love coming home again.” – ElDschi
“I never want to turn the key in the door and have to worry about what is going to on the other side again. I don’t want to have to manage another’s emotions or walk on eggshells. I love the peace that my space is mine alone. I also hate the obligations that tend to come with relationships. I don’t want to attend other people’s events or buy presents for in-laws etc. Basically, I’m selfish.” – UnfeelingSelfishGirl
“No longer being forced to hang out with their friends.” – Rude_Attorney_9428
“I was engaged but broke it off in July after putting up with a lot of disrespect from him and his family. I had quite a bit of money saved aside for our wedding but now I can spend it on things I’ve wanted for a very long time. I am finally taking care of myself and learning more about who I am as an individual instead of being someone’s fiancé.” – celestialnight994
“Because I’d rather be single than be with someone who doesn’t appreciate my love and affection.” – sinderella666
“I don’t have to worry what I look like or what I’m wearing while I’m just chilling on my days off. Hair up in a messy bun, no make up, no pants, no problem.” – not-a-real_username
“Call me selfish, but this is it in a nutshell for me.
The freedom to wake up and go to sleep when I want to, to decorate and organize my home (that I bought and paid off on my own) as I like, to make my plans and schedule as I see fit, to watch/read/play whatever I want, to buy and wear whatever I want, to cook and eat whatever I want (and not have to share), and make long term financial and career goals without having to worry about it conflicting with someone else’s.” – kokoromelody
“I can do whatever I want whenever I want.
If I want to stay up late, I can. If I want to go to sleep early, I can. If I want to sleep in, I can. If I want to wake up late, I can. If I want to buy that Xbox, PS, Nintendo, or upgrade my PC, I can. If I want to play video games, I can. If I want to watch a movie, I can. If I feel like watching tv, I can. If I feel like listening to music, I can.
If I feel like reorganizing or redecorating my apartment, I can. If I want to go out to eat, I can. If I feel like cooking something at home, I can. I can choose how I use my time. I can choose how I spend my money. I can choose how I save my money.
Do I feel lonely? I’ll admit it, sometimes I do. But I have good friends. If I feel like hanging out with my friends, if someone wants to hang out with me, I can. If I don’t feel like going out, I can stay home.” – photon3on
“I learned who I am after I decided to stop dating. It’s been 4 years being single, and I really love who I’ve become. I was able to establish myself, my goals, and who I want to be.” – kylo_drew
“I read this article a while ago that really clarified my feelings on this. Studies show that people who are married are on average slightly happier than people who are not married. Which has been known for a long time, so people have sort of internalized this idea that marriage equals happiness. But when you break down the numbers in that, what it actually looks like is that people in happy marriages are much happier than everyone else and people in unhappy marriages are much less happy than everyone else. So actually the “slightly happier” figure is pretty meaningless and just shows that slightly more marriages are happier than unhappy—and that’s what that looks like when averaged.
So (for those who want it) being in a good relationship is the best situation. But being single is the second-best, and far better than being in a bad relationship. Also being single is a better position to be in if you’re looking for a good relationship because being in a bad one means you have to go through the extra steps of breakup and recovery. Plus when you’re single you’re able to work on all those things about yourself that make you ready for a good relationship.” – TheBaddestPatsy
Being in a relationship can be beautiful as you feel that butterfly in your stomach. But you can never have as much time to care for yourself as when you’re single. Establishing a workout routine, meeting and catching up with old friends, and even setting personal goals you want to achieve in the future are all a tad easier with the extra energy and time you have now, Sarah suggested.
“Haven’t seen it in this thread yet, but talking to myself, and not having it seem weird. If someone else is around when you talk to yourself, you’re a nutcase, but if no one hears you, it’s fine.” – KadTheHunter
“Stuff in my home is exactly where I left it. I’m not actually single but this is what I remember from when I was. Other people have all kinds of weird habits that make your life difficult. Want to wash a pan? Someone’s filled the sink with plates! Go to collect your keys? Someone couldn’t find there’s and has borrowed yours and thinks they may be in their coat pocket! Where’s the coat? They can’t remember!” – bsnimunf
“My apartment is clean and neat and most importantly, 95% empty.” – TheCrimsonChariot